Real Conversations: The Beard

After looking at myself a little too closely in a mirror I walk into the living where the hubs is sitting in his recliner.

Me: Hey!  Look at my face.  What do you see?

Hubs: Umm…Oh.  That’s a lot of hair on your neck.

Me: Yup.  You are president of Mommy’s Beard Control Committee and you failed.  This is your job! Your position is now officially up for review.  I stood face to face with all the other moms at preschool pickup with a beard.  Have you not looked at my face in the last few days?  Are we that disconnected?

Hubs: Go get the tweezers.  I’ll bring down the beard.

Me: That would be a great slogan if we were being controlled by a bearded overlord.  “Bring Down the Beard.”

Hubs: Why do you get hair like that?

Me: Excuse me?

Hubs:  What’s wrong with you that you grow hair on your neck and face?

Me: Honey, Beyonce gets weird neck hairs too.  The difference is she has an entire team of people whose only job is to make her look perfect.  And I have you who lets me walk around like a lumberjack with lipstick on.


If anyone out there is interested in becoming the new president of Mommy’s Beard Control Committee let me know, as the previous individual has been reassessed and demoted to the No Naked Family Members Outside Committee.  (something that is much easier for his lack of observation)

Also-Can I please get some backup here?  We all get weird hairs with a tendency to rapidly grow and stay hidden until you’re in a public place like your cousin’s wedding, right?


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