Telling you that mornings are hard for me might be an understatement. More than anything else, what I miss about not being a mom is sleeping in in the morning. Or even waking up on my own-not to someone crying or yelling my name. Sleeping in is something my kids haven’t picked up on yet. They are what we grudgingly refer to as ‘morning people’. And not only do they wake up unbearably early, they have an obnoxious manner of glee about the whole ordeal.
My son is awake every morning at 5:30 like clockwork. He wakes up around 3 to eat most nights, so it’s not because he’s hungry. It’s because he wants to discuss life’s pivotal questions. “Let me tell you the story of my passage from womb to the physical world of my parents!” “Everyone! Take notice! I have discovered delicious plump treats at the end of my feets!”
And who needs an alarm clock when I can wake up to the raspy deep breathing of a two-year-old standing four inches from my face? Movies like ‘Children of the Corn’ and ‘The Omen’ have only proved a fact we’ve known for centuries: kids are creepy! With their ‘imaginary friends’ and sleepwalking tendencies…*insert goosebumps here*
Avelyn can be a little more complicated in the mornings. She’s happy when she initially climbs out of bed and on top of my face, but the mood can quickly deteriorate. This very morning was a perfect example of this. The following is a list of reasons she fell apart: (And when I say ‘fell apart’, I mean sobbing so furiously snot had ran all the way down to her belly-button. I mean clumps of dog hair stuck to her tear-soaked face from falling to the ground in anguish.)
-I turned the lights on in my bedroom.
-I tried to dress her in the skirt she had picked out.
-Her pajamas got stuck on her feet.
-I stopped her from eating game pieces.
-I put her cereal in a bag and she wanted it in a bowl.
-I would not let her color on the new dining room table.
So if you see me in the grocery store and my make-up from three days ago is still desperately hanging onto my face and the baby powder to cover up my greasy hair is giving me a gray scalp, attribute it to these rough mornings. Anyways, I’m sure my children will look crisp and golden with morning exuberance.