When it comes to fortune cookies I appreciate forewarning of wealth or success just as much as the next person, but there are an abundance of other things constantly worrying me.
The following, however, is a list of fortunes that I WOULD appreciate to read.
1. Each forkful is carefully inspected for the smallest hint of this wicked color.
2. My kids well love me for my eclectic sense of style and easy going personality.
3. I’m really sorry for yelling after asking you to put your shoes on 14 times.
4. I just want to wake up ONCE when it’s not still dark outside. Please God.
5. Ava wants to be a princess when she grows up. So that works.
6. I know we use to own a mop. It’s…somewhere.
7. You better believe they will.
8. They can have vacation homes in all those warm locations…
9. I don’t think I have to explain this one.
10. Every parent’s worst fear.
11. No surgery required.